Alone

Well, here I am again... another boss has told me they don't know what they'll do without me, but she can't afford me any longer.

While I sit here alone feeling like a failure... I sometimes wonder why my mother didn't opt for an abortion.  What purpose have I ever served?  I cry more than anything... my heart hurts always... my eyes are continuously puffy from being sad... I even 'leave my baggage at the door' when I go to work and paste on a smile and get my work done.. above and beyond what I'm expected to do...

Why do I always feel like the one giving... giving giving giving.  I seriously feel like disappearing...

My cosmetic consulting job is only seasonal and ends at the end of the month.

I can see why people don't try hard at jobs.  There is no loyalty anymore.  I was raised to be loyal to your boss.. to give 110%.... I feel like it's for nothing anymore.  I look back and wonder why I tried so hard... why I worked so hard... why I organized everything... when I'm not even going to be there now.  Why?

I'm feeling like a fuck up... I remember when 'unemployment' was rarely heard of....