I'm not surprised, not everything lasts....

Those are the first few words of Michael Buble's new song, 'Haven't Met You Yet'.

I like Michael Buble... The new song, I thought it was kind of irritating and I would turn it when I heard it come on. Then.... I gave it a chance.. I listened to the words.. Take out the 'relationship' view, and listen to the words, I can see or feel what he's saying.

So many things in his song...
"I've broken my heart so many times, I've stopped keeping track
I talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up then I let myself down"...

Wow, do I know what he's talking about.. it's not even about the relationship that he's supposedly talking about ... It's me.. my everyday life...

.... 'I know someday it'll all work out'....

This is what I keep telling myself.. don't give up, it will all work out.

.....'I might have to wait, I'll never give up'....

I keep telling myself this as well... just don't give up... keep plugging along and trying...

This is the first time in my life I've had to ask for help.. it's killing me. I've been so independant, always making my own money, never asking anyone for help. Out on my own by the age of 18, I aquired what I have by myself, I can't say my mommy or daddy got me anything. In turn, I feel I appreciate things more. Everything from the money I earn to things I buy.... I take nothing for granted. Asking for help has taken so much of me to voice. I'm not used to feeling hopeless or helpless. If my car needed fixed, I'd save my money and fix it.. if I needed something at home fixed, I'd save and pay it myself. Not being able to do that is killing me. Having to ask for help is foreign to me...

I volunteered so many places, knowing something could happen to me to lose everything I have at any moment, and helping others made me feel better. If you've never seen the movie, 'Pay it Forward', you need to pick it up. It's a heartfelt movie, and of course made me cry... but it's how each of us should live our lives...

I saw Will.I.Am on Opera the other day. He paid off two families homes!!! I liked the man and his music before, but now I have even more of a deep respect for him. I only wish to be able to fulfill lives like that. He is using the money we pay for records, songs, etc.. and helping others with the ridiculous amount of money he earns. Hats off to him... It makes my heart swell... when the families cried I cried.

Will and Jada Smith are on Opera right now... I've always loved them.. (what the hell am I doing watching Opera!!??)

Oh, and my 18 (in June will be 19) year old dog is having problems and I will probably have to put him down soon. Things are just piling on...

...'I tried so hard not to lose it, I came up with a million excuses'....
.... 'I know someday it will all work out'.....