Was filthy. ew. I have spent so much of my 'free' time just cleaning the place before I even try to move anything in. I polished the hardwood floors... they look brand new.. I'm going in to paint tonight hopefully, if I have enough funds to at least cover some paint cans for the front room (the owner is going to pay me back.. I just have to keep the receipts).
I wasn't sure about this place... seemed so cold.. so stark compared to my house. But, little by little I'm breathing life into it.. and I'm feeling much better about my decision to accept this place as my new home.
I did put Ciyan down this past weekend. I was hard for me. I sobbed, my heart stayed in my throat.. and I still had to go to work and paste on a smile for customers, when inside all I wanted to do was cry.
I can't have dogs at this new place (but they were the only ones willing to work with my bankruptcy and divorce on my credit). So, I'm having to give up Tibit too. Thankfully my cousin is taking him. He has tons of land and a huge house. I can visit him when I want and I've promised I would pay for his food, etc whenever he needs it. Hopefully the landlord will change his mind about dogs and let me have him back. I'm thinking the owner was burned with pets and thats why he says no to dogs... While cleaning, every vent was packed with long dog hair. It was disgusting. These people NEVER cleaned the vents, or swept. *gag* So, I'm determined to prove myself a good renter and hopefully make him change his mind about Tibit. It's killing me to have to let him go to another home.. He's been with me since he was born and I took care of him and his siblings and mommy. I hand fed him because he was the runt and rarely got to eat... I have a special tie to him and it's on my heart.. where a broken piece from Ciyan already is. I miss Ciyan so much.. I miss letting him out to potty.. watching his little nubby tail wag just waiting for me to put the food dishes down... I miss his little personality that would make me smile even on the worst of days... I miss him.
I've been taking 'before' pics of the new place.. and I'll be taking after pics as well.. I'll be sure to share them!
I'm trying to bend to all this change... I hate change... but I know it's how it has to be for me to move on.. and I'm determined to make it all work... I'm determined for it all to be positive.. I'm determined to be happy.
I want to thank all of you for being there to support me ... even if it was just a few kind words... I appreciate each and every one.
xo
Alexa
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Sorry to hear about your dogs. I know how much they mean to you. They are family more than they are pets. That's what a lot of non pet lovers don't really understand.
ReplyDeleteI hope you start feeling more comfortable in your new home, specially with Christmas coming up so fast. Keep your head up Alexa! Soon it will be a new year and I feel you are about to take off for the sky once again!